Milk, But No Baby

The following is written from the point of view of Thursday, December 2nd, 2021. Five days after Benjamin was born. Today felt like a milestone. But first I have to explain why. Monday night my milk came in, which felt horrible and unfair, not to mention VERY physically painful. All my thoughts went about like... Continue Reading →


This is a poem I wrote in the first few weeks after our son Benjamin Milo died. Riptide I was just swimming,Enjoying the movementOf the waves around me.Ducking under, feeling their push,Rising again. Then a wave I didn’t see comingPushed me underAnd spun me around.Gasping and reeling,I take in my new landscape. I’m much farther... Continue Reading →

Benjamin Milo

On December 18th, 2021, we buried our son Benjamin Milo with family and friends gathered around us. Nathanael and I both shared pieces we had written in the days since Benjamin's birth and death. Below is what I read that day. To read Nathanael's two pieces, see the posts titled "Counted" and "Why?" Benjamin Milo By... Continue Reading →

Into the Darkness

“I kind of thought this would happen,” our wise-beyond-her-years and yet-so-innocent six-year-old said when we told her her baby brother I’d been pregnant with just a day before had died. “Why did you think that?” I asked her. “Because it’s happened so many times before,” she said. She’s right. We’ve been down this road before,... Continue Reading →

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